Letter to My Children

This is an actual open text to my children (Ages: 23, 22 & 17).  I am sharing this raw unedited conversation because I know there are mothers out there that have been brought to their knees in their quest to do all they can for their kids.  There are joys of motherhood indeed, but I think rarely do you hear women talk about the despair, the pain and the frustration of raising children, especially if you are a single parent.  For me some of my biggest triggers and wounds have been in relation to raising my children or some interaction with them.  At the same time, they have been my greatest teachers.  This is not about highlighting a wrong or a right with child rearing but what can happen when we surrender and just speak from our hearts.  I have found that my biggest aha moments and breakthroughs have been when I allowed myself to be vulnerable with them, to be seen as a human being and not just as a mother.  Through my own expectations of my own mother, many times I was not able to see her humanness and I would get stuck in anger and resentment.  Our kids are not different and it follows them into adulthood too.  

It went like this..

There is always takeaways and little nuggets of wisdom that we get from difficult situations.  I have take away that my children need my undivided attention, my time and gentle reminders that I care and love you.  You are all sensitive and sometimes fragile souls.  I declare that I will do my best in all areas. I am far from perfect but…you matter and you mean that much to me.  What I hope to get from you is support, patience and compassion. Please know that I too am human and that I can’t possibly be everything that you want and expect.  My journey at this time is be more me, be authentic, be real, be all that I know I am.  I was a child too who suffered as you.  We all have a story of pain.  I want to create a new story of love, laughter, family and joy.  This will take work, it will take time.  I hope you can share this journey with me as you build your own dreams and hopes and discover who you are.  Reach out more, communicate your needs. I am not a mind reader.  I will respond.  Be clear in your communication.  Fear, anger, frustration begets more anger, fear and frustration.   You are all such loving souls. Have compassion even in your pain.  Compassion is a doorway for grace and for better understanding.

I love each and every one of you. Each in a unique way because you are all different yet as we are all stardust, we are also the same. I see me in each of you.  I love you deeply with all my heart and soul

End

Mothers: Know that where you are on your path, with help, with no help, you are doing the best that you can at this moment.  They will understand some day.

#children #childrearing #motherhood #vulnerability #singlemother #conversationwithkids